If you love clean lines, plain, simple décor and the sparse look of a minimalist hotel and restaurant, then The Witchery by the Castle is not for you. If, however, you prefer your surroundings to be romantic, comforting and Gothic, then this is where you’ll feel at home.
Warning number one: If you’re a witch, and feel ‘The Witchery’ sounds welcoming, just bear in mind that it’s claimed more witches were put to death on Castlehill, during the reign of James VI, than anywhere else in Scotland; King James being an enthusiastic witch-hunter, about which he wrote a popular book.
“In the heart of the city” is an over-used expression, but not in this case. Situated on Castle Hill – the final stretch of the Royal Mile - within yards of the entrance to the castle parade ground, The Witchery is in tourist central. Fortunately, the almost soundproof windows still enable a restful night.
Actually, I think it would be fair to say that The Witchery is more a restaurant with rooms, rather than a hotel: but don’t let that conjure up images of rooms being an afterthought. The nine suites are crammed with opulent velvets, silks and brocades, paintings, carved wood, military uniforms and candles; and roll-top baths for two!
Several suites have a similar layout - Sempill, Guard Room and Armoury suites - with a dining hall, sitting room, bathroom and a large bedroom. All suites are large, in fact, with their own individual quirks and features. I’ve not enough space to do justice to them all, so it’s probably best to discuss your specific requirements, directly. It is worth me pointing out that, as with many 16th century buildings, disabled access is problematic. I wouldn’t like to declare it impossible, but that being the case wouldn’t surprise me, either. Another point to mention is that some of the suites are in a separate building, some 30m down the hill; but don’t assume that’s a negative. It’s just the way it is and not inconvenient.
Reading this, you may get the impression that mod cons would be absent, in such a setting. Not a bit of it. Hidden amongst the panelling and antiques – not to mention secret doors - are air conditioning, Amazon Echo devices, Dyson Hairdryers, Nespresso machines, fridges and TVs appearing from the bottom of the bed, at the touch of a button. It’s difficult to fault the equipment, from Bose speakers to hair-straighteners and free Wi-Fi, it’s well-equipped for modern living. I’m not surprised it was described as one of the “seven wonders of the hotel world”, by Cosmopolitan. Non-witches should be incredibly comfortable!
The restaurant is divided into two parts; The Witchery, with painted ceilings and oak panelling, and the Secret Garden, with French windows overlooking a hidden terrace. The latter seems to me the prime choice, for the romantics amongst us; but that’s hugely subjective.
I’ve heard the menus described as “old-school glamour”, which I can’t better. It sums it up, perfectly. Roast breast of duck; Himalayan salt dry-aged ribeye steak; roast loin of Cairngorm venison; pan roasted cod; Seared Isle of Mull scallops; fruits de mer… you get the idea.
It’s all done rather well, as you’d expect for £40 per head, from the table d’Hote menu, and substantially more for the à la carte option. The same expectations go for a hotel where the suites range from around £360 - £400 per night, depending on the season.
While it’s convenient for most of the tourist ‘must-sees’, it’s literally next-door to
The Scotch Whisky Experience; and the Camera Obscura & World of Illusions is on the opposite side of the road. Both are worth a visit, as alternatives to the usual fair.
Warning Number Two: If you’re planning to do both, in the same afternoon, go to the Camera Obscura first, then to the whisky. Do the opposite and you risk seeing your lunch again!
Does the Gothic appeal to you; or are you more at home with furnishings by The White Company? Let me know in the comments below.