For some, the festive season is full of social activities, from boozy lunches and late nights with friends to festive dinners with family, so it seems like every day is packed with things to do. And then on top of everything else there is always the expectation for it to be the most wonderful time of the year. Add to this the pressure of relentless rushing to find the perfect gift and it can lead to it all becoming a little bit much until burnout happens.
For others, friends and family might be scarce or might not even exist at all in their lives for whatever reason – these people can be achingly lonely and feel isolated, much more acutely so when it seems like the rest of the world is snuggled in the bosom of friendship and family. Christmastime can flick so many triggers in a lot of people with estranged or toxic family or friends and the resulting sadness and loneliness causes real pain which affects physical as well as mental wellbeing.
Whichever category you fall into – and maybe, like me, you straddle both realms (I have a busy social calendar, but I really miss my mum and dad at Christmas and being an ‘adult orphan’ heightens grief and brings a longing, childlike pain like nothing else at Christmastime, when I no longer have my original family ‘home’ to visit) – it’s important to mind your mind at Christmastime. We caught up with Annette Kelly of Little Penny Thoughts and compiled five ways to help work through the season of goodwill, because being selfless doesn’t mean you can’t be a little bit selfish.
1) Check in with yourself.
The season of giving means we are often too busy thinking of others that we often forget to check in with (or look after) ourselves. If you don’t meditate or practice mindfulness, now is definitely a good time to start. It’s no big hocus pocus thing, and it’s so easy to just take some time on your morning commute to just focus on breathing – you’ll be surprised at how good a lung full of oxygen and the relaxation of just breathing in and breathing out makes you feel (some deep breaths are also great during busy shopping trips which can often become stressful…) Another idea is to make yourself a relaxing bath with some flower petals and fragranced bath oil to leave you feeling thoroughly relaxed. You can take the bath to a whole new level by putting some pink rose quartz crystals around my bath with some lavender to remove any negative energy. If you don’t like the idea of oils in the bath, try a diffuser or burner in the room. And if you want to rid physical toxins, add a cupful of Epsom salts to bathwater and soak until the water cools down to eliminate all sorts from your insides. **NOTE: If you don’t have a bath, a foot soak with Epsom salts can do the same thing!
2) Switch off
Take time away from social media. Full Stop. The expectations of social media can often leave us feeling anxious and inadequate, especially at this time of year. If you’re feeling lonely, try to get out for a walk (with some good music in your headphones) and say hello to those passing – a nice smile back can work wonders for your mood. Reading a book in the time you might have sat mindlessly scrolling is another good way to break the tech habit. And if you’re seeing friends and family, snap away of course, but don’t spend ages looking at what everyone else is doing (comparison is a killer) so much that you miss the present moment. Take time to just be in the moment, not only will you feel better for it but your friends and family will appreciate having your full attention and enjoy making memories with you.
3) Go outside!
We agree, the freeeeezing temperatures make staying in wrapped in cosy PJs and lying by the open fire seem like the most favourable option, but the old saying ‘fresh air will do you good’ is right. Walking and breathing in fresh air rather than stale indoor air works wonders for the mood and for physical health too. Plus, walking is the easiest exercise and one we were built to do. Get to a lake and bring leftover bread for the ducks; take in a forest and the majesty of the trees, or walk on a beach and pick up some sea shells – it’s easy to appreciate nature at its most simple and majestic, so put on those wellies or walking boots and wrap up warm to hit the great outdoors!
4) Make a note of it
We love a list here at The F Words. The festive season is always full of things to do so making lists has never been more appealing! The perfect way to keep track of your day, writing a morning list saves any stress of forgetting anything important and allows you to plan everything you need to get done that day. Oh and it feels oh-so-good to tick off those tasks at the end of each day. Perfect.
5) Rest when you need too!
Don’t be afraid to take a rain check if it all gets a bit too much. If suddenly a night on the sofa with a cup of tea and a movie is more attractive than a night on the tiles then that’s ok! Let go of the expectation that you have to do everythiiiing. Listen to your body and if you need a break away from it all then that’s ok.
6) Don’t put too much pressure on yourself
During the festive season we can put serious pressure on ourselves. Socially, emotionally and financially. Try to take it in your stride and know that you are only human and not a machine. One of my favourite quotes is “Pressure is for tyres” (Not for people) If you find yourself in a state of overwhelm, step back, breathe and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can and that is always enough.
7) Surround yourself with good people
Your vibe attracts your tribe. Try to surround yourself with those who lift you higher. Those people in your life that you trust, feel safe in their company and also have fun with. Studies have shown that you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. It is important to choose company that make you feel good about yourself. It is not about having lots of friends, choose quality over quantity.
8) Self care is the best care
The time you should relax, is the time you don’t have time for it. It is easy to neglect yourself this time of year as you become lower on your “to do” list. Put yourself at the top of the list. You can’t pour from an empty cup. It is vital that you practise self care and treat yourself during the “silly season” This will help regulate your mood as you are taking time for yourself. Self care isn’t selfish, its essential.
9) Try not to compare yourself to others
Comparison is the thief of joy. Try not to compare your life to others. (Especially not on a free app that lives in your phone) The most important “like” is the one you give yourself. You will see lots of people #livingtheirbestlife this Christmas. You can too by appreciating your own life instead of looking in at someone else’s wishing for their life. Adapting an attitude of gratitude will remind you of your blessings.
10) Be present
Short and sweet “Presence over presents”
Now, I know gifts are great but the greatest gifts in life are ones that money can’t buy. Family, friends and the blessing of good health. Treasure them as the most important things in life aren’t things.
PS – YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR WEALTH
One last thing – be healthy, but realistically so. Drink plenty of water to avoid the dehydrating effects of alcohol and centrally heated homes – lots of headaches, cramps and other physical ailments can be avoided by simple hydration (see editor Cathy’s blog on WATER here http://www.thefwords.com/blog/2017/11/7/fitness-hydration-station. But also, don’t beat yourself up about that extra mince pie or a bit or gorging on the cheese board or box of chocolates. We all do it. And of course you can go for that walk afterwards to help work it off…